A Surprise Miracle

A year ago God gave us a miracle. It was not the miracle we expected. Though, that did occur as a happy moment as I posted here.

God gave us a different miracle. Our Tutu Monkey. The ironic thing about this little girl is that I didn't know she was exactly what I was missing. She was the piece of our family that I had no idea we needed. That is, until she came to us.

My baby girl can be my biggest headache, but also my biggest joy. She has come a long way in the year that she's lived with us. I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

Someone in her life compared her "before" to a feral child and her "now" to "normal" (I hate that word). While that is not completely accurate, I do see some of what this person was saying.

Each day that I spend with my Tutu, God shows me another facet of His being. Generosity. Persistence. Unconditional Love. Caring for others. Extreme protectiveness of loved ones. Nurturing.

Each day I love on my Tutu, God shows me more about myself than I ever wanted to know. He shows me to how love, forgive, nurture, and speak softly even when very angry. James 1:19 is a constant refrain in my head.

She is a priceless treasure. I wouldn't trade anything for her. And yet, I never knew I needed her. Until...

We were giving her KPs a respite weekend. I went to get her out of her carseat and she looked up at me. With her big, beautiful eyes full of trust and wonder she said, "Mama."  My heart melted. I was a puddle. I snuggled her close and didn't let her go until she wriggled free. When the opportunity came for us to foster her as well as Silly Monkey, I jumped on it.

Baby girl, if you ever get to read this know that your Mama loves you. I may not always show it very well, but I do. I love the way you crawl in my lap and say, "You ok, Mama?" or when you hug your brothers so hard they can't breathe. I know it's only because you have so much love inside your little being that you have to get it out.

My girl that loves shopping, shoes, fashion, and bows...you are a ray of sunshine to me. I'm not that into girly girl stuff, but I'll do it for you. :) I would move Heaven and Earth to make you safe, well-adjusted, and whole. I have fought for you numerous times, and I will continue to fight as long as you need a champion.

I thank God that He knew what I didn't and gave me you a year ago. How dull life was before then.

Mama loves you. I can't wait to make you mine forever!