Tumultuous Emotions

Tomorrow is the official day in which our adoption will be consummated, or finalized. I must admit that I'm experiencing myriad emotions and some of them conflicting.

Happy--my babies will legally be mine. Need any more explanation? :-)

Uncertainty--I've never parented without checklists, monthly forms, inspections, reporting every injury. I will still have to do so for M&M as he will remain a foster child for the time being. But Tutu and Silly are all mine (and Jay's).

Surrealism--I've waited so long for this day, that it's hard to believe it's finally here and this is really happening.

Inability to comprehend--I'm unable to completely process the enormity of this endeavor.

Grateful/blessed--I am grateful that God has honored my desire and answered it in a way that exceeds my expectations.

Trepidation--This is a heady responsibility that we are taking on.

Anxious--I have been counting down each day on Facebook. At some points today, I could tell you how many hours until the start of the ceremony.

And there are still many more thoughts and feelings flitting through my brain as the day wears on. I've been pretty teary as my MOPS sisters sang "Happy Adoption Day" and gave me a beautiful wreath with gifts attached. I've been giggly as people call or text to confirm when and where things are happening.

Above all, I feel loved. Loved by our families that drove for hours to witness this with us; loved by friends willing to take time out of their day to honor us. Perhaps most importantly, I feel loved by these children I am honored to call mine. I know this is not always the case with adopted children, and may not always be the case for my children. So I will accept this love while it is offered and treasure it during the hard times.

Tomorrow, a new chapter begins.